For the past two days we have been diving into our ministry projects.Through our contacts Carol and Forrest we were linked up with a man named Levi.  Levi is from Florida and he just purchased a lot of "land" on the outskirts of Antigua. I say "land" because it s pretty much a rocky/cemented area that was previously used to store buses and now has hardly anything in it. He is planning on remodeling the site and turning it into an area where he can store building materials for the houses he constructs for locals who are in need.  Part of the site will also house future missionaries.  Our task was to dig a ditch about 2 feet deep across the site so that he can install cables for electricity and pipes for plumbing. We were all pretty excited about this task until we got in there and discovered that the ground was consisted of straight rock, concrete, ceramic and chunks of brick with the occasional pocket of actual dirt.  Not to mention that the ditch was about a 150 feet long. We tried shovels at first but that wasn't cutting it....literally....because shovels don't really go through concrete very well...so we relied heavily on the pick axes, which we broke two of.  Add in the noon day sun and we came to the agreement that it was some of the most physically intense labor that we had ever done.  It was so cool though to watch everyone work together to complete such a difficult task. The guys (Brad, Mike, Josh, and Sean) all deserve honorable mention for working so hard despite the multiple blisters that resulted in having to work without gloves for a couple of hours. (Will rocked it out today, always stepping in when someone was getting winded or their blisters ripped open.)  At the end of the two days we were able to look on our work with pride, knowing that we had truly accomplished something.  We later learned that had we not been there Levi would have had to do the entire thing by himself which would have taken some time considering it took 9 people nearly 6 hours to do it, excluding breaks. 
                                   
                    
I loved it though.  It was so nice to get physically wrecked instead of emotionally wrecked,  The last couple of days have been pretty tough and I'm doing my best to work through a lot of different things.  I felt that our project today was the perfect analogy for how God must feel at times.  I believe that He sees my hearts and wants so badly to do a good work in it but because of my sins and the sins of others, I have a lot of cement, rocks and bricks layered around my heart. God has set out to break up those layers and get to the softer parts of my hearts where He can lay down a better foundation; so that He can give power and light and life.  It is hard work for Him at times, not because He gets tired but because the process can be painful and I am reluctant to let him Him do it. I become afraid of what is buried there; afraid what will be discovered and if that will somehow disqualify me from His love or cause other people to misunderstand or reject me. But thankfully God is relentless and even though it hurts and I have trouble trusting both Him and the people around me, He is showing me that He has good things in store and that He is working things out even when I am unaware of it.  Part of His provision has been to place me with the perfect group of people. My team and my squad has been so wonderfully supportive, loving, patient and encouraging; proving themselves to be all that they claim to be.  As the layers of wall get broken apart, they step in and help heal my wounds with their prayers, their hugs and their gracious love.  I am so thankful for all of it because I am determined to get this stuff worked out and experience freedom in every area of my life. I want NOTHING holding me back from what God has for me!  Every day I must recognize that He is God and I am not and willingly offer up my heart to be broken and restored as he sees fit.
                              
PS. Fun facts about Guatemala - You are not allowed to flush toilet paper down the toilet at all and the buses (aka chicken buses) are all brightly colored to indicate where they go since a vast majority of the population cannot read.