Life at home so far? Crazy. Good. Overwhelming at times. Restful at others. The number one question I get asked is, "How was your trip?" One of the challenges I've faced, that all returning Racer's face, is trying to sum up a year's worth of experiences and changes in 5 minutes or less. It's impossible. But while sitting on the lawn in a campground in Ireland, at the request of our coach, Papa Mike, I thought about what this year has meant to me, how I've changed and how I will live my life as a result of what I've learned and experienced. What I came up can be read in 5 minutes or less and if I could just read this to everyone I talk to I would but that would be awkward....so I figured a blog would be more appropriate. =D Here's a peak into my journal, into my heart:
"We arrived in Dublin last
night! Wowzers! I'm actually in Ireland!
(Yes, I actually write expressions like that in my journal - nerdy, I
know.) I/we got here just by the skin of
our teeth. They made the flight over 20
minutes late just to wait for us all (at least I think that's how it happened)
and then only half of us got our bags. I
was one who didn't get their stuff so I ended up sharing someone else's a tent
with Mimi and even though I was up all night with frozen feet I couldn't have
been happier. And that's the point,
right? I am learning to be content in whatever circumstances, knowing that my
absolute worst day or moment of greatest discomfort is still better than much
of the world's very best day or better than anything they'll ever experience in
their whole lives. And what a glorious
moment when looking around me I see over 40 people who would give up all that
they had and sacrifice their own comfort for mine and knowing that I would do
the same for them. I am worth it. They
are worth it. Because He is worth
it. Because He died. Because the Father said that we are worth
it. How great the Father's love for
us. How vast beyond all measure. I believe it again. I truly believe it and I am better equipped
to fight now - to stand up against the lies and continue in FREEDOM! I cannot and will not go back to the old life
I once had. As I always told my Cadets -
the best way to repay people for their investment in you is to go and live the
life they've told you you're capable of having - to be the person they believe
you can be - to be all of that and more. That is what I want to do, what I will do. I will remain one of the 99 so that Jesus can
go after another one. I will be one of
the ones rejoicing when another one comes home. I'll bake the cake and help make the banners and offer up my praises to
God as I watch the flock grow. I'll be
one of His dancing fools and I'll do my best to encourage and teach the ones
returning whether for the first time or hundredth, as well as the other
98. I will pray. I will speak the truth and I will continue to
listen to the voice of my Shepherd, my Daddy, my One True Love. My toast in our Final Debrief session was
this: To the discovery, experience of and belief in True Love; to a life worth
having, living and giving; to people worth loving, serving, giving to and dying
for. I meant every word of that
toast. This year has transformed
me. I told Mimi that for the first time
in my life I am completely fearless. I
can face the Sun/Son and know that no matter what it will be okay. I am loved, accepted, approved of, valuable,
and free of shame. I am a child of God,
of the Creator - if God is for me, and He is, then who can stand against
me? God of the angel of army He fights
for me. I have NOTHING to fear but God
himself. So, I am ending the Race, this season, full of hope, peace, and joy
and the greatest of all, LOVE! Every
tear and bead of sweat has been worth it. Every death I would die again. Every ounce of pain felt during the tearing and mending process I'd
endure all over to be who I am now, to know Who I know now."
That's how my trip was.
*This picture was not edited in any way. Sweet, huh?
You have 11 different currencies in your wallet and can't remember what country they're all from.
You've stopped knowing or caring where you actually are...you just know that you are in ________ country in the village of __________ with Pastor ______. (No, really. If you showed me a map of the Ukraine I could not point out to you where our town was.)
You prefer peeing out in an open field to ANY of the alternatives available.
You have not one of the books you started the Race with but now have at least 6 others whose owners are unknown.
You only have half of the clothes you brought and what you have is ripped, stained, faded , and stretched out....not that you care because you can hardly spell fashion let alone have a sense of it.
You dream about food and when you're not dreaming about food you're eating food and when you're not eating food you're talking about food and when you're not talking about food you're probably thinking about food.
A day without three cups of coffee or tea? Anathama!
You've lost at least one item you truly needed or wanted in every country but gained at least a dozen more that you really didn't.
Wait! You mean there are other websites than g-mail, facebook, youtube and the WR blog page??? You're kidding?!?! I'll have to check those out sometime....
A cafe's quality is now based on how fast their wifi connection is.
You've listened to every song and sermon on your ipod - twice.
You decide to stop washing your hair and can actually find others willing to do the same.
You've become pathetically good at hearts and spider solitaire.
Bodily functions, fluids and odors have moved from repulsive, to unpleasant to a favored topic of conversation. "Hey, do you remember that one time in ______ when so and so got sick from ______ and they were ____ing and _____ing all night long? Remember that? Yeah. That was funny!
What's mine is yours and vice versa now includes water bottles, eating utensils, chapstick, soap bars, and anything else typically considered germ infested.
Your hair is so much shorter, so much longer, or such a different color that your passport photo now a raises a suspicious brow at border patrol.
You no longer ask about or care what type of meat you might be eating, you just Thank God for the protein.
Naked babies, women breast feeding, men in speedos, and mating dogs no longer freak you out - it's just life. (my favorite nakie baby of all - from Cambodia!)
12 hour bus rides, 30 minute walks, and 2 hour waits have gone from "Oh, man!!" to "That's it?"
Cleanliness is not based on number of times an item is worn but on whether or not it passes the smell test....and if you can't accurately judge, your teammates will give you a good sniff without hesitation.
Your ability to read, speak, spell, do simple math, and eat or drink without spilling has significantly declined. And grammar....bye, bye!
You have accumulated at least one soft, fuzzy, stuffed friend that you never thought wanted but now can't be without. (I have three.)
You no longer to desire to read or write blogs written in anything but bullet form.
It's been 11 months, you are out of money, and you have no choice because AIM has booked your ticket home already.
Hmmmmm.....not so much. Not that it was a horrible experience whatsoever. In fact, I really learned a lot while on "lock down," as we referred to it. I learned that, in the words of a once popular Dixie Chicks song, I prefer "wide open spaces," as well as a mice free bedroom and a fridge not shared with African cockroaches. The death toll for mice was, no joke, up over 50! I also learned that some of the best memories are made when electricity is not a gauruntee, sweating is, and your gate into the outside world is guarded by a nearly seven foot tall Nigerian giant named Ben. Words don't really do it justice so I'll just let you check out the videos of what our month outside of Lagos, Nigeria looked like. The first video is a look at our ministry at Christ Heart and our daily living. The second lets you in on what World Racers do in when they're starting to succumb to cabin fever......ENJOY!
We have officially made our exit from the widely unkown country of Moldova and we are now (were) sitting in a room in a widely unknown town in the Urkraine. Our host - a 32 year old single mother who does not speak a word of English. Our fate rests in the hands of her 14 year old daughter who speaks broken English but is well versed in the language of giggles and squeals. You have to have a great amount of respect for a woman willing to open up her home and literally give up her bed for three weeks for five American women she has never met and will most likely never see again. My hats off to her bravery and faith. The funny part for us... we don't even question it. It has become just a part of life for us on the Race. We feel no discomfort or fear. We just get by with hand gestures, facial expressions and games of see and say. It works. And the other day I had a World Race Reality Check when, after a 7 hour overnight bus ride, we found our health and welfare in the hands of an 18 year old girl who drug us below the bus station to a dark and dank room to store our luggage while we trekked across the city of Odesa to spend the day sleeping in a former Communist apartment complex that should have been condemned 20 years ago, with a 20-something year old kid named Andrew that we had known for little more than a quater of an hour. Do we hesistate? No. We just want to be stationary and horizontal. Our lunch - Russian made cereal, milk , bread, salami and Coke. This should not be normal. We should not be comfortable enough to drift off into dream land. Yet we do. We throw ourselves onto the floor, no pillows, no blankets, not that we want them anyways because of the stifilng heat, but we have no need. We just place our travel weary heads on the sweaty shoulder of the body next to us, close our eyes and whisper a prayer of thanksgiving that we are no longer in motion. For our team, the nap is just that - a nap. In just five more hours we will be back on the road, crammed into a mini bus that is ill-equipped to hold seven Americans plus all of the gear needed for 11 months worth of traveling. Our own bodies, coupled with our packs, makes our group of seven much more like a group of twelve. And by the grace of God not every seat in our van was filled because two extra seats plus the isles were needed to transport all of our stuff to the widely unknown town somewhere in the middle of the Ukraine.
Should this be normal? Probably not. But it is. It is normal life on the Race and it is a normal that I will soon be saying good-bye to as I prepare to return to the life that most people in the western world consider "normal." I guess the question weighing on my heart and mind as I write this is: What do I want my definition of "normal life" to be as I continue on this journey known as life? I don't have a complete answer to that at present but I do know one thing - God save me if I ever let myself go back to my old "normal" way of living.
Breaking and Entering? Bacon and Eggs? Bold and Extravegant? No, No, and No!
IT'S BRAD AND ERIKA!!!
And they are far superior to the things mentioned above and knowing them won't land you in prison. Though, when you are with them, you are arrested by their love, enthusiasm and passion! There is never a dull moment with the Baldwin's because they are zealous for life, for others and most importantly, for GOD. As individulas they are each spiritual forces to be reckoned with and the two of them together are, simply put, unstoppable! I have had the honor of being on a the same team with them for seven months of the Race and have been overwhelmed at the lengths to which they will go to show people how much they are loved, even when it is hard. They are willing to sacrifice their own comfort, physically and emotionally, to do what is best for others, to see them grow, to see them realize their potential, to see them become more like the Jesus they know and love with all their hear, mind, soul and strength. They have sacrificed for me, loved me when it hurt them, fought for me, cried with me and rejoiced with me. They both have been and will continue to be, a true gift from God to me! They have changed my life and will change the lives of countless others as they are both completely dedicated to serving God and bringing the Kingdom of Heaven to earth! Brad is already lined up to attend Fuller Seminary in Southern California, leaving friends and family behind, once again, just a two weeks after returning home from the Race! What many of us would see as unimaginable, they have embraced, knowing and trusting God's call on their lives. They are not just hearer's of the word, they are doer's! While they are preparing for and excited about the next season of their lives, this season of the World Race is not yet over for them and they need our help to finish it off. They need just $1,000 to be fully funded and close this season out debt free! Please prayerfully consider being a financial blessing to them as they finish strong!
To support them, please go to either of the following links and click on "Support me."
For the last 6 months of the Race I have been toting around a ridiculous stuffed yellow cow whom I have affectionately named Hippo. Hippo? A cow named Hippo? Yes, a cow named Hippo. Why? Well, it was a simple case of mistaken identity. Upon first spotting my little bovine buddy I was insistant that he was in fact a hippopotomus... I was ready to bet my life's savings on his species when I was challenged by my teammate Will so we had to take him to Brad to be the righteous judge. Brad took one look at him, observed the horns and hooves, that I had somehow overlooked, and accurately proclaimed his true identity as a cow. I was first in denial, then became angry, and finally entered into acceptance of the matter and in jest of my own folly I purchased him and named him Hippo. I also happen to love cows, for reasons unknown even to myself, so it was only natural that I should take ownership of him. And thus He has been in my possession ever since, surviving the jungles of Asia, the deserts of Africa and the desserts of Europe. He is always in tow serving as a friend, a cuddle buddy, and a pillow on travel days.
In and of itself, this yellow stuffed cow has no value or worth. It can do nothing for itself. It has lost his brilliance from being trekked around to three different continents and countless modes of transportation. It has no real purpose for the Race and to most it would appear to be an inconvenience, extra baggage and an unneccessary responsibility. But to me Hippo is very valuable and has great worth. He brings me comfort and joy and I don't care that he cannot really do anything. I don't need him to do anything. I just like to love on him. To me he is not an inconvenience whatsoever. It is with pleasure that I drag him around to the ends of the earth and I would sacrifice multiple other "necessities" in order to keep him with me should the need arise or I be asked to do so. He is valuable to me because of my love for him.
I believe that this is how God sees me as well. In and of myself I may not be of great value or worth. Without Him I can do nothing on my own and because of my sins and selfishness I get dirty and look shabby more often than I'd care to admit. To others I may be or appear to be a nuisance, extra baggage or responsibilty. I get in the way, have bad days, mess things up, say the wrong things, misunderstand others and even myself, and need to be carried, cleaned up, and cared for. But Jesus does not see me as an inconvenience. He sees me as a precious possession and He gets pleasure out of just loving me. His intense love for me makes me very valuable, a pearl of great worth. He would, and He has, made many sacrifices for me and has done so out of pure love.
"Greater love has no man than this, that he should lay down his life for a friend....no longer do I call you servants, but I have called you my friends."
Something that I have battled with for most of my life and especially on the Race is believing the lie that I always have to be doing something and if I am not doing something that I am not worth anything. When I look at Hippo I can see that he doesn't do anything. He just is. He can't do any mind-blowing magic tricks or engage in lengthy esoteric discussions. He can't develop a cure for cancer or solve a murder mystery. He can't pray lofty prayers, speak in tongues, or cast out devils. He can't write books, play the guitar, or dance to the Cupid Shuffle. The only thing that he can really do is simply exist and receive my love. God is teaching me that I need to be more like my little yellow cow.
Wait! There is more. Many people have questioned me about the fact that I still have Hippo with me since in every country we go to there are countless deprived children who would love wrap their fingers around his soft litte ears and call him their own. Should I not be compelled to give him away and watch them squeal with joy at their newly acquired toy? Could I not, as a young, well-off, American missionary, easily purchase another stuffed animal to replace him? No. I am not compelled and I cannot find a replacement. He was the only one at that store. I know. I searched the entire place and there was no duplicate. He didn't even have a price tag or company label. He is unique. He was meant for me. He is mine. No other little bull has been my companion for a majority of this journey. I have poured my love into him and my tears over him and that makes him irreplaceable.
I would not give him away to someone who would eventually lose interest and leave him abandoned and dismembered in a ditch somewhere in country no one has heard of on a dirt road that has no name. I only desire to give him to those who understand his value and will treat him with TLC (with one exception :P). I love to give him to people on my team or my squad when they are having a rough day, feeling distressed, or simply need something to lighten the mood. When I relinquish my hold on him and hand him over for this reason, Hippo is no longer merely a canary-colored cow, he is a tangible expression of my love. I want to give to others something that I value and gives me great pleasure in hopes that they will receive the same pleasure, that they will see and feel my love for them. The greater the personal value of the thing you give away, the greater the expression of love.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son..."
We too are precious to God. He has poured His love into us and Lord only knows how many tears He has shed over us. We are unique to Him. We are adored by Him. We are His. And He lends us to one another as an expression of His love for us. Whether for a day, a season, or a lifetime, God brings us together and allows us to be used for one another's comfort, joy, and growth (as painful as that may be sometimes). Therefore, I am, just as I am, God's gift to someone else. I am God's Hippo. And other people (my family, my friends, my coaches, my squad, my team, our contacts...YOU) are God's gift to me and many others. Our highest calling then, if I may reverse a line from Moulin Rouge, is to be loved [by God] and love in return.
"...if we love one another, God abides in us and His love is perfected in us."
Covenant. Community. Family. These are the things that are strongly emphasized on the World Race. And rightly so because they are what sustain you as you move from one nation to the next, never quite knowing where you'll end up, what you'll be doing, and what God will reveal to you. They are the glue that holds you together when you feel like you're going to fall to pieces and they are thread to which you cling when you are barely hanging on. Is it possible to travel around to 11 countries in 11 months without other Racers? Sure. But I wouldn't reccommend it. Many people set out on this journey in search of an answer to many questions. Who am I? What is real love? Where do I fit into the picture? Can I really make a difference? Who is God? Where is God? They think that they'll find the answers out there. Out in the field. But little do they know....little did I know....that I would find the answers in the people sitting right next to me. My World Race family. They are the agents of change, the catalysts for transformation.
That is why I seek your help now. There are many people on my squad who are still in desperate need of more support. There are hearts are determined to finish this Race strong, to complete all 11 months of this incredible journey. But they cannot do it without being fully funded. They need you. So I ask that you prayerfully consider supporting my family. I personally only need a $211 in order to be fully funded and for that I say THANK YOU SO MUCH!! But some are far from that goal. My new team leader Melina Orengo still needs $3700 to be fully supported and my squad mate Will McRae still needs $3800. Please watch the following videos for these two incredible people and see if God moves your heart to give....every dollar counts!
THANK YOU and GOD BLESS!!
I know that this is going back quite a ways but as I mentioned in a previous blog the internet situation in Africa was less than stellar so I have a lot to catch you up on. These two videos were created by the one and only Nicole Ricketts - a name that I am sure you are very familar with and have grown very fond of since I steal many of her videos! She doesn't mind though....you learn to share everything on the Race! :) One thing that you need to know about Nicole is that she LOVES holidays and she came on this Race prepared! She knew going into it that we might struggle with being away from home on our favorite holidays so she came fully equipped with stickers, cards, and craft supplies with the purpose of bringing a piece of home to us all and staving off the ache induced by homesickness. For Easter she cut out, decorated, and hid multiple eggs in the yard of the hostel we were staying at. She laughed with glee as she taped our transformation into 6 year olds - hungry for prizes and determined to be the best hunter! I'm quite proud to say that I came in second place with 6 eggs and Jory took the number one slot with 7! Here's a peak into the scene:
This next video is a documentary of one of the most physically challenging experiences that I have had on the Race so far... walking across the country of Togo! I have to admit that this was not our idea....I mean we are all pretty crazy and but that is a little out there even for us. The idea came from the people at Mercy Ships with the purpose of creating awareness of the organization and inspiring prayer for the nation. What we thought was going to be a well organized event turned out to be just a trial run....and I do mean run. When we met up with the handful of people from Mercy Ships they immediately broke out into a jog and set off marathon style, leaving us there a little dazed and confused...mostly because it was 5:30 in the morning and we had already been up since 4 AM. But we were still deteremined to complete the mission and therefore we headed off down the road to walk out every foot of the 32 mile trek from the Benin/Togo border to the Togo/Ghana border.
To help pass the time and distract ourselves from the aches and pains we prayed on the hour, every hour, took pictures, made videos, and told stories. The best part was seeing God provide for us. When it was getting hot we prayed for clouds and rain and it came. When we prayed for ice cream a cart of Fan Ice (my new favorite treat) would show up. When we needed a break, a sheltered store would appear out of nowhere. It was truly amazing! It is a longer video (15 minutes) but if you have the time it's pretty neat to see what it was like for us...
You may remember back a few blogs ago a video created about one of the villagesI had the pleasure of working with in Togo. It was one of best experiences I've had on the World Race so far and we did some memorable activities there but I spent time in another Togolese village as well and I feel that it deserves an honorable mention....
The thing that I enjoyed the most was the opportunity that we had to go out into their hand tilled fields and plant seeds of corn. We spent all day out in the hot African sun, bent over in the dirt placing seeds in the holes that were created by stabbing large sticks into the ground. The village men were the "hole makers" and the village women were the planters. It was and exhausting project but one full of reward. It was such a blessing to be able to help a village create a source of income and nourishment that will sustain them for years to come! Being right there beside them, getting burnt and dirty, showing them that we actuallycared and not just there to throw money at them, brought me such a feeling of joy and humility. The joy coming from doing a good work, the humility from realizing how little control I actually have and how much I take for granted.
Yes, they spent hours of back-breaking work, tilling up the soil and making it ready for the planting and we baked ourselves for several hours putting seeds in the ground, but no matter what I do I cannot make the rains fall or force the seeds to burst open and take root. God alone is responsible for both. I get no credit; no human does. And I rarely take the time to truly ponder the incredible miracle of this process, especially since I am from Wisconsin where there is no shortage of produce. It happens and has happened innumerable times for thousands of years and yet it is something I take little notice of and appreciate even less. It is the same with the Word of God and the Gospel message. We can till the ground and plant the seeds, but God alone causes it spring up and produce fruit. We get no credit. He gets all the glory...as it should be! I also realize how little time I take to truly ponder the miracle of every soul who receives Christ's salvation and enters into the Kingdom of Heaven...one that I need to take notice of and appreciate even more. And not just every saved person but every human being on earth! Ever study human development in high school or college? Even scientist stand in awe of the process.... by all observations, it should be impossible. I'll have some humble pie with my corn on the cob!
In addition to planting corn, we got to help them make coal which is used for their own cooking fires and taken to the markets to sell. These two things, growing the corn and making coal, are not native to the village. The practices were introduced only recently by the people of CGE ministries. They have spent countless hours building relationships with the village chiefs and pastors and pouring out much of their finances and energy into making sure that this village can receive proper nutrition as well as a means to make money for clean water, school supplies, and many other necessities of life. It's hard to hear the Gospel with a dry mouth and hungry belly, a truth that Aida and Pastor Jonah of CGE are well aware of. Their goal is not just to prepare the land for planting but to build relationships that prepare the hearts of the people for receiving Christ. This small group of believers were and are a true treasure of Togo. Their hearts are completely sold out for God, they have sacrificed more in a year's time than most of us do in a lifetime (though they don't see it that way) and they do it all with an enthusiasm and genuine love that can only be fueled by the One who created them and the seeds that they plant.
Mike, me, Aida, Bethany, Pastor Jonah and the village leaders after planting the corn
The video below unfortunately doesn't have footage of us in the fields or making the coal but it does capture the village setting and the amazing people who comprise it. ENJOY!
"Oh Tank the Lord for dat One!" One of the many phrases utter with great enthusiasm and sincerity by our jovial host in nothern Ghana. Following his expressions is always a smile wider than the Grand Canyon, one so real that you cannot help but smile along with him. His laugh bounces off the walls and makes its way into your heart, making you feel lighter, happier and in embraced with genuine love and joy. To be in the presence of Emmanuel is to be in the Presence of Jesus. You know it. You feel it. You never want to leave it.
Emmanuel doesn't come alone either. He is yoked to one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. Will Maryanne ever grace the cover of Cosmo magazine? Highly unlikely. Magazines don't go to the forgotten places of the earth in search of a deep and true beauty like hers. And even if they did, their photos would never be able to capture all of the kindess, peace, love and serenity that envelopes her. Your spirit is moved by her, changed by her. No camera can pick up on that, only another spirit.
These are the people I was blessed to spend an entire month with in northern Ghana, a desert region that is abandoned by the world, by Ghana itself. But Emmanuel and Maryane choose to live there. They give up their comfort, their right to enjoy the benefits of Western culture (Maryanne is French and lived in Europe for most of her life) to love and serve the people of Navrongo. Why? Because they are two souls who understand obedience. They understand that real suffering and true discomfort is found when living outside of the will of God, not in the indescribable heat of the West African sun or the gritty dust storms of the Harmatton. Maryanne has no doubts that she is exactly where God has called her to be, "My body is not happy in Navrongo, but when I am somewhere else my soul is not happy."
I can say with confidence that my time in Ghana with Emmanuel and Maryanne was one of the impactful and lifechanging experiences I've had on the World Race. I, and my team, could not help but be filled with desire to love and serve like never before. A genuine desire to be like Christ is contagious and we all caught the bug from these two servants of God. A bug that I never want a cure for! Just to give you an example of their attitudes....when any work is needed to be done, dishes washed, tabled cleared or gate opened they and the children rush to be the first one to do it so that they can "get the blessing" and if you fight to get their before them then you are "stealing the blessing." From them I learned the art and joy of being a blessing theif.
One more example (though I have a plethora) of their true Christlikeness is that during our month there they and all of the children fasted and prayed for our team, the World Race as a whole and for America... more than once. Children who have experienced a lack of food, clothing, water and security prayed and fasted for us! Please take a minute and let that sink in. And then try to fathom that fact that the children run their own church service every week. They (not one of them over the age of 15) lead worship, lead prayers, take an offering, head up a Bible study and preach sermons. Did I mention that these children were not even born to Emmanuel and Maryanne? Since the two were married so late in life they do not have children of their own. They have taken these children into their home simply because each of one them was in desperate need of one. Oh and every penny they earn or raise goes into the Daycare and K-6 school they are building next door.
If all of that does not fully expressed how truly amazing Emmanuel and Maryanne are, let me just tell you that it has been three months since we've left their home and they still call and e-mail us on a regular basis....just to make sure they we are doing okay and to let us know that they are praying for us. It has been three months and I have not stopped being blessed by them. It has been three months and I have not stopped trying to be more like them.
Here's a video that made of photos from our time in Ghana:
experience in
their whole lives. And what a glorious
moment when looking around me I see over 40 people who would give up all that
they had and sacrifice their own comfort for mine and knowing that I would do
the same for them. I am worth it. They
are worth it. Because He is worth
it. Because He died. Because the Father said that we are worth
it. How great the Father's love for
us. How vast beyond all measure. I believe it again. I truly believe it and I am better equipped
to fight now - to stand up against the lies and continue in FREEDOM! I cannot and will not go back to the old life
I once had. As I always told my Cadets -
the best way to repay people for their investment in you is to go and live the
life they've told you you're capable of having - to be the person they believe
you can be - to be all of that and more. That is what I want to do, what I will do. I will remain one of the 99 so that Jesus can
go after another one. I will be one of
the 
ones rejoicing when another one comes home. I'll bake the cake and help make the banners and offer up my praises to
God as I watch the flock grow. I'll be
one of His dancing fools and I'll do my best to encourage and teach the ones
returning whether for the first time or hundredth, as well as the other
98. I will pray. I will speak the truth and I will continue to
listen to the voice of my Shepherd, my Daddy, my One True Love. My toast in our Final Debrief session was
this: To the discovery, experience of and belief in True Love; to a life worth
having, living and giving; to people worth loving, serving, giving to and dying
for. I meant every word of that
toast. This year has transformed
me. I told Mimi that for the first time
in my life I am completely fearless. I
can face the Sun/Son and know that no matter what it will be okay. I am loved, accepted, approved of, valuable,
and free of shame. I am a child of God,
of the Creator - if God is for me, and He is, then who can stand against
me? God of the angel of army He fights
for me. I have NOTHING to fear but God
himself. So, I am ending the Race, this season, full of hope, peace, and joy
and the greatest of all, LOVE! Every
tear and bead of sweat has been worth it. Every death I would die again. Every ounce of pain felt during the tearing and mending process I'd
endure all over to be who I am now, to know Who I know now."
That's how my trip was.
in the hands of her 14 year old daughter who speaks broken English but is well versed in the language of giggles and squeals. You have to have a great amount of respect for a woman willing to open up her home and literally give up her bed for three weeks for five American women she has never met and will most likely never see again. My hats off to her bravery and faith. The funny part for us... we don't even question it. It has become just a part of life for us on the Race. We feel no discomfort or fear. We just get by with hand gestures, facial expressions and games of see and say. It works. And the other day I had a World Race Reality Check when, after a 7 hour overnight bus ride, we found our health and welfare in the hands of an 18 year old girl who drug us below the bus station to a dark and dank room to store our luggage while we trekked across the city of Odesa to spend the day sleeping in a former Communist apartment complex that should have been condemned 20 years ago,
with a 20-something year old kid named Andrew that we had known for little more than a quater of an hour. Do we hesistate? No. We just want to be stationary and horizontal. Our lunch - Russian made cereal, milk , bread, salami and Coke. This should not be normal. We should not be comfortable enough to drift off into dream land. Yet we do. We throw ourselves onto the floor, no pillows, no blankets, not that we want them anyways because of the stifilng heat, but we have no need. We just place our travel weary heads on the sweaty shoulder of the body next to us, close our eyes and whisper a prayer of thanksgiving that we are no longer in motion. For our team, the nap is just that - a nap. In just five more hours we will be back on the road, crammed into a mini bus that is ill-equipped to hold seven Americans plus all of the 
gear needed for 11 months worth of traveling. Our own bodies, coupled with our packs, makes our group of seven much more like a group of twelve. And by the grace of God not every seat in our van was filled because two extra seats plus the isles were needed to transport all of our stuff to the widely unknown town somewhere in the middle of the Ukraine. 
hippopotomus... I was ready to bet my life's savings on his species when I was challenged by my teammate Will so we had to take him to Brad to be the righteous judge. Brad took one look at him, observed the horns and hooves, that I had somehow overlooked, and accurately proclaimed his true identity as a cow. I was first in denial, then became angry, and finally entered into acceptance of the matter and in jest of my own folly I purchased him and named him Hippo. I also happen to love cows, for reasons unknown even to myself, so it was only natural that I should take ownership of him. And thus He has been in my possession ever since, surviving the jungles of Asia, the deserts of Africa and the desserts of Europe. He is always in tow serving as a friend, a cuddle buddy, and a pillow on travel days. 
I believe that this is how God sees me as well. In and of myself I may not be of great value or worth. Without Him I can do nothing on my own and because of my sins and selfishness I get dirty and look shabby more often than I'd care to admit. To others I may be or appear to be a nuisance, extra baggage or responsibilty. I get in the way, have bad days, mess things up, say the wrong things, misunderstand others and even myself, and need to be carried, cleaned up, and cared for. But Jesus does not see me as an inconvenience. He sees me as a precious possession and He gets pleasure out of just loving me. His intense love for me makes me very valuable, a pearl of great worth. He would, and He has, made many sacrifices for me and has done so out of pure love.
Something that I have battled with for most of my life and especially on the Race is believing the lie that I always have to be doing something and if I am not doing something that I am not worth anything. When I look at Hippo I can see that he doesn't do anything. He just is. He can't do any mind-blowing magic tricks or engage in lengthy esoteric discussions. He can't develop a cure for cancer or solve a murder mystery. He can't pray lofty prayers, speak in tongues, or cast out devils. He can't write books, play the guitar, or dance to the Cupid Shuffle. The only thing that he can really do is simply exist and receive my love. God is teaching me that I need to be more like my little yellow cow. 
understand his value and will treat him with TLC (with one exception :P). I love to give him to people on my team or my squad when they are having a rough day, feeling distressed, or simply need something to lighten the mood. When I relinquish my hold on him and hand him over for this reason, Hippo is no longer merely a canary-colored cow, he is a tangible expression of my love. I want to give to others something that I value and gives me great pleasure in hopes that they will receive the same pleasure, that they will see and feel my love for them. The greater the personal value of the thing you give away, the greater the expression of love. 
immediately broke out into a jog and set off marathon style, leaving us there a little dazed and confused...mostly because it was 5:30 in the morning and we had already been up since 4 AM. But we were still deteremined to complete the mission and therefore we headed off down the road to walk out every foot of the 32 mile trek from the Benin/Togo border to the Togo/Ghana border.
The thing that I enjoyed the most was the opportunity that we had to go out into their hand tilled fields and plant seeds of corn. We spent all day out in the hot African sun, bent over in the dirt placing seeds in the holes that were created by stabbing large sticks into the ground. The village men were the "hole makers" and the village women were the planters. It was and exhausting project but one full of reward. It was such a blessing to be able to help a village create a source of income and nourishment that will sustain them for years to come! Being right there beside them, getting burnt and dirty, showing them that we actually
Yes, they spent hours of back-breaking work, tilling up the soil and making it ready for the planting and we baked ourselves for several hours putting seeds in the ground, but no matter what I do I cannot make the rains fall or force the seeds to burst open and take root. God alone is responsible for both. I get no credit; no human does. And I rarely take the time to truly ponder the incredible miracle of this process, especially since I am from Wisconsin where there is no shortage of produce. It happens and has happened innumerable times for thousands of years and yet it is something I take little notice of and appreciate even less. It is the same with the Word of God and the Gospel message. We can till the ground and plant the seeds, but God alone causes it spring up and produce fruit. We get no credit. He gets all the glory...as it should be! I also realize how little time I take to truly ponder the miracle of every soul who receives Christ's salvation and enters into the Kingdom of Heaven...one that I need to take notice of and appreciate even more. And not just every saved person but every human being on earth! Ever study human development in high school or college? Even scientist stand in awe of the process.... by all observations, it should be impossible. I'll have some humble pie with my corn on the cob!
In addition to planting corn, we got to help them make coal which is used for their own cooking fires and taken to the markets to sell. These two things, growing the corn and making coal, are not native to the village. The practices were introduced only recently by the people of CGE ministries. They have spent countless hours building relationships with the village chiefs and pastors and pouring out much of their finances and energy into making sure that this village can receive proper nutrition as well as a means to make money for clean water, school supplies, and many other necessities of life. It's hard to hear the Gospel with a dry mouth and hungry belly, a truth that Aida and Pastor Jonah of CGE are well aware of. Their goal is not just to prepare the land for planting but to build relationships that prepare the hearts of the people for receiving Christ. This small group of believers were and are a true treasure of Togo. Their hearts are completely sold out for God, they have sacrificed more in a year's time than most of us do in a lifetime (though they don't see it that way) and they do it all with an enthusiasm and genuine love that can only be fueled by the One who created them and the seeds that they plant. 
Emmanuel doesn't come alone either. He is yoked to one of the most beautiful women I have ever met. Will Maryanne ever grace the cover of Cosmo magazine? Highly unlikely. Magazines don't go to the forgotten places of the earth in search of a deep and true beauty like hers. And even if they did, their photos would never be able to capture all of the kindess, peace, love and serenity that envelopes her. Your spirit is moved by her, changed by her. No camera can pick up on that, only another spirit. 
These are the people I was blessed to spend an entire month with in northern Ghana, a desert region that is abandoned by the world, by Ghana itself. But Emmanuel and Maryane choose to live there. They give up their comfort, their right to enjoy the benefits of Western culture (Maryanne is French and lived in Europe for most of her life) to love and serve the people of Navrongo. Why? Because they are two souls who understand obedience. They understand that real suffering and true discomfort is found when living outside of the will of God, not in the indescribable heat of the West African sun or the gritty dust storms of the Harmatton. Maryanne has no doubts that she is exactly where God has called her to be, "My body is not happy in Navrongo, but when I am somewhere else my soul is not happy." 
A genuine desire to be like Christ is contagious and we all caught the bug from these two servants of God. A bug that I never want a cure for! Just to give you an example of their attitudes....when any work is needed to be done, dishes washed, tabled cleared or gate opened they and the children rush to be the first one to do it so that they can "get the blessing" and if you fight to get their before them then you are "stealing the blessing." From them I learned the art and joy of being a blessing theif. 
during our month there they and all of the children fasted and prayed for our team, the World Race as a whole and for America... more than once. Children who have experienced a lack of food, clothing, water and security prayed and fasted for us! Please take a minute and let that sink in. And then try to fathom that fact that the children run their own church service every week. They (not one of them over the age of 15) lead worship, lead prayers, take an offering, head up a Bible study and preach sermons. 
Did I mention that these children were not even born to Emmanuel and Maryanne? Since the two were married so late in life they do not have children of their own. They have taken these children into their home simply because each of one them was in desperate need of one. Oh and every penny they earn or raise goes into the Daycare and K-6 school they are building next door.